Thursday, April 28, 2016

What is Parenthood? | A truth behind Happy Parenthood

Dear when I started writing this post, believe me I just did not know that what I am actually going to write here ! That's why not yet decided the title also ! Hmm ... but I should write today! Anything what I love to discuss ! I love to know ! I love to improve ! Got the idea ! Why I am not sharing something about children.

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And what a co-incidence is this that today is birth day of Herbert Spencer(27th April,1820) who was the greatest English Philosopher in the world . More over He was prolific writer as well as a scientists over religion and evolution. So its a tribute to this great philosopher from me !

We parent always love our children more than ourselves. It is eternal truth ! No one can beat this ! Rather sometimes our affections touches the sky limit and the result becomes more vulnerable only. Though parent is parent . There is no substitutes like parent ! Parent always try to give there child the best option to make them happy. But it is true that it is not the perfect way to support your children . There are so many positive negative side effects of parenting.

Spencer has some great quotations about parenthood :

  • He believed "The defects of the children mirror , the defects of the parents. " To some extents our (elder) knowledge tell the same thing as we often teach the children that learn from your elder. 
  • He experienced that "The child takes most of his nature of the mother, besides speech ,manners and inclination ." And expect if you experiment this you can find out , its very true ! 
  • Sometimes we are really perplexed to think about that why our child is getting so cranky ? A beautiful answer is given by Spencer that "Mother , when your children are irritable ,do not make them more so by scolding and fault-finding, but correct their irritability by good nature and mirthfulness .Irritability comes from errors in food, bad air, too little sleep, a necessity for change of scene and surroundings ; from confinement of close room and lack of sunshine. "
  • So much wrong perceptions we parents have that we always think that our children should not get minimum hurt too ! Yes I do also ! But according to Spencer , "It is the function of parents to see that their children habitually experience the true consequences of their conduct." His law says that let your children meet with their fault so then only he can understand the effect of not obeying.
  • He suggested that "Never educate a child to be a gentleman or lady alone, but to be a man , a woman". Because He believed that "No one can be perfectly free till all are free; no one can be perfectly moral till all are moral;no one can be perfectly happy till all are happy."

According to Spencer truth had always originated from the clash of different minds ! There should be friendship between the father and the son. In result relation between parents and children becomes very positive by nature. it is more trustworthy . 

Nevertheless Spencer's law of evolution for education did not get much more priority and acceptance to some comparative educationist like Alexander Bain who wrote the book "Education as a Science". In this book He accepted Spencer's theory to some extent and criticized that still there should not have much more dependency on nature also. Parents should guide their children as per their desired concern .

With respect to same thoughts some others like Abbot , Thoreau, Samuel Smiles shared their different views regarding parenthood.

According to Abbot , "It depends upon you whether your children by men or brutes" .

Smiles shared an important point over here that "What is necessary is not to break the child's will but to educate in proper direction and this is not to be done by force or fear." He believed "Education cannot be promoted by crushing out individuality".

A practical advice from Henry David Thoreau(philosopher) to full time working parents (Father & Mother)  is "Simplify Simplify ! Live cheaply so that you do not become a slave to money/work."

In the end after analyzing all,it can be said that the ethical part of parenthood is like a positive nurture between parents and children. So in modern life parenthood should be generous in nature like it should include love,affection, appreciation and obviously parent should occupy some attitude like to make understand their children using logic or they should have to be accompanied to realize the truth(wisdom from truth) for their children also. Scolding and criticism are also necessary when its required otherwise they cannot be accustomed with the present environment of World as we know our world is a combination of good and bad.

So lets celebrate Happy Parenthood !!!

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